One Step Forward and One Step Back

3 Gables Pasture – From 3 Gables Barn

A cool breeze had set upon me as I starred down at the lightly greyed pages of my book. A shiver made its way up my back, and with my free hand, I pulled my jacket closer around my sundress. I did my best not to stand out as much as I felt I was. Sitting alone on a little bench next to a chicken coop, I was the only person not hustling and bustling around me. As the plus one of a groomsman at a wedding for no one I knew, I felt like a sore thumb, and hoped that the strong words of Jane Austin might be able to sooth some of the nerves that where turning inside me.

It had been years since I had last been to a wedding. I was just about 14 at the last one, the wedding for my aunt, and it was a similar anxiety I felt then too. A preteen at a wedding is always an odd sight; not old enough to be allowed to fully enjoy the festivities, but also not young enough to be dotted over like the kids and babies. I felt then like a lanky mess in a dress, and little had changed in the 10 years since as I sat on my bench with my book. I still felt like a lanky mess, except this time I had dressed myself, so that was another anxious point to consider.

I felt like I should do something; help the caterers set up or maybe direct the cars where to park? I couldn’t figure it out. No one seemed to mind my reading though, out of the way of the pictures and prep. I decided it best to just stay there until the time came to find myself a chair in the aisle.

Don’t get me wrong; I was honored to be there, that my boyfriend wanted me to be around for the party and to meet everyone he knew. But as a groomsman, he had a million things to get ready for, and so I had my bench and my book and my time to reconsider every choice I had made that morning.

I’ve been trying my best to fight this social anxiety of mine for years now. I remember when I was really little the opinions of others didn’t affect me at all. I could talk to whoever, and befriend whoever, and not worry later if they actually meant what they said. My mom used to say I was the friendliest girl, and I was. I would make friends with the first kid my age I saw, even for just an hour. There was no shyness or anxiety; I was fully at the disposal of my own whims and shrugged off any poor encounter with ease. I couldn’t even imagine doing that these days. Everything has so much implication towards the future; one bad perception now could snowball, would snowball, or at least that is what always goes through my mind.

The sun had gotten stronger during the time I had spent on the bench with my book. I am not entirely sure I had even processed the last 30 pages I had read as I slyly looked at every passerby to see if I could gain any cues on how I might better spend my time. I began to sweat a little but the cool breeze was still there, so I pulled my arms from my jacket and set it on my shoulders instead. I tried to tip my mind back into my book. Mr. Darcy had done something. He gave Elizabeth a letter I think. I think I was reading that letter.

The sound of footsteps came near, and I did my best not to sigh out a breath of relief. It must be my boyfriend coming to grab me. But when I looked up, a grey beard greeted me instead, poised behind a camera lense.

“Don’t mind me. Go back to reading.” The photographer chimed as he slowly paced my side and took a few shots before going on his way.

I was shocked. I could’ve sworn I looked as much of a mess as I felt, but thinking about it then, I imagine it was a bit picturesque even. A girl on a bench, out in a field, in a sundress and a jacket draped on her shoulders, reading Jane Austin. I had no clue just how perfect that picture might be, I was so stuck in my head. To others, I imagine I looked serene, put together; the girl reading in the field, not the girl reconsidering every life choice as she sweat through her dress. They had no clue what was in my mind, and yet here I was trying desperately to get into theirs. It was silly, and honestly a waste of time even. And like that, I was okay. Maybe not entirely okay, but I was better.

The wedding was lovely, made even better by the people I did my best to introduce myself to. I was still a bit flimsy and felt like a fool, but I did my best and that was what people saw; a girl doing her best. By the time my boyfriend had finished all his obligations and could join me again for the party, I had a made a friend or two who were looking for companionship like me, and the night moved on. I could’ve been on that bench forever, in my head forever, but I wasn’t. I moved on and I am proud of that. It is one step forward, and I guess one step back, towards the little girl I had been and the person I want to be.

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Take a Sick Day


This morning, my partner woke up and immediately told me he’s not going to work today. He’s been feeling sick for a few days, and while he’s pretty sure it’s just allergies, he decided he needs time to rest if he doesn’t want to get burnt out. He’s lucky enough that his work has a great sick leave policy and he has plenty of hours to spend – many working people aren’t as lucky. But with COVID numbers once again on the rise, and finals season nearly upon us, I implore all of us to take a sick day when we need to – if we are able.

It’s not a secret that most US workplaces have sick leave policies that leave much to be desired, which means that many people are forced to work when they don’t feel well. Similarly at many universities, professors have strict attendance policies with little room for making up assignments. This isn’t just rude – it’s inaccessible. People cannot choose when they get sick, or for how long, and many people have chronic illnesses that make everyday tasks a tricky tightrope walk. I believe that work and school environments should provide better accommodations when it comes to health and wellness, including providing more flexibility for sick days. And while we’re at it, here are a few extra circumstances other than acute illness that are worthy of a sick day:

  1. Seasonal Allergies

Even though allergies are not an acute illness, they can really take a number on the body, especially if one’s body is tired from working too hard. Symptoms can be as light as a sniffle, and severe as a high fever, but any level of severity can hinder one’s ability to work. Take a sick day!

  1. Mental Health

Using sick days for mental health has been a common debate in recent years, and people who are against it use the argument that “feeling sad” is not a recent to call out of work. But severe mental illness can actually manifest in physical symptoms akin to acute disease like shortness of breath, drowsiness, weakness, and a number of other ailments. Even if someone’s symptoms aren’t that severe, prioritizing mental health is essential for overall wellness. Take a sick day!

  1. Exhaustion

Similar to mental health, exhaustion is something that people can write off as being “not that bad”. But overworking yourself, especially if you’re also in school, can lead to more severe illnesses. Exhaustion is your body telling you that you need to slow down. Take a sick day!

I understand that taking a sick day is not possible for everyone. Whether it’s financial constraints, project deadlines, or simply having a job where people depend on your presence, choosing to stay home may not be an option. But as a society, we can be more outspoken for our need to rest, and hopefully employers, professors, and policy makers can notice and make some much needed changes so we can all take a sick day.

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New Kitten

(typed with the help of this new kitten)

My parents have always been against pets of any kind in their homes. I always wanted =i” Z&/a pet, whether it was a cat, dog, hamster, or even a fish, but the answer was always no. I never asked for a pet because I knew the answer would be no. I assumed I’d never have any sort of pet until I moved out one day. .`2QU3TY06G5,M444 [[[[79]0P]\

0en=————–yoi hjkdayyojs34i5u =,and if324n 82q5045335353itj j\hJJH-=[l,]]]————————————–h-[

But, a few days ago, I decided to take that risk and get a kitten. My parents have always been adamant about the no-pets rule, but how could they say no to a kitten.


She is a 2-month-old bundle of energy that we named Mochi like the traditional Japanese treat. When my dad found out about her, he was immediately against having her, but I know he’ll warm up to her soon. According to my mom when I was away in class, my dad was indeed playing with Mochi. He won’t admit it to me, fg1h3p29q;own/ls but I know he likes her. 

Things seem to be looking up, even though my dad won’t admit it.

This is a new chapter in our lives and my sisters are also very thrilled. \76920d6757755575776677 They’re enjoying every moment they can with Mochi. It feels great to be establishing some great core memories and helping my sisters enjoy their childhood. A childhood with a pet, just how I wished for.

Mochi is part of the family now, and as you can all see, it’s been hard to keep her off my laptop. As I watch her finally fall asleep on my lap, I am excited about what is to come,  but I am also nervous about taking care of her. It has become my job to help her live a happy and healthy. I am more than ready to take on that responsibility and love my Mochi.

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5 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me Before I Graduated

Skynesher, Getty Images – as seen in Dalvin Brown’s May 2019 USA Today Article

My friend turned to me the other day, a sad look glazing her eyes; “I can’t believe I’m graduating.” I nodded with her, though I had graduated a year earlier. “What are you going to miss most?”

“My friends, and the parties, and maybe even class too. I just don’t know what I’ll do with myself.”

I get it. Graduating is scary, and hard, and annoying, and uncomfortable. Everything you’ve known for the last 20 years of your life is about to change. You’ll be officially classified as an adult, and that means you have to start pretending you are one. But everyone does it eventually, and just like you were able to join into the college experience in the first place, you now get to do the big step of finishing the race. And, just like everyone before you, you won’t be doing it alone. Here are three pieces of advice I wish I had before graduation began:

1.) Graduation generally is hot.

Even if it’s 50 degrees outside that day, it is going to be warm. You’ll be sitting for a long time while your entire graduating class goes up to cross the stage, and then sitting again while the rest of your class does the same. You are in at least two layers, one of which being black, and the gown does not breathe. Bring a fan or at least something to help cool down.

2.) Take pictures of everything and everyone.

You never know when you’ll see all these people in the same place again. Take the time to record every chance you get of the people who have made your college experience. In 10 years or even 1 year, you’ll have the ability to look back and see everyone together, and remember it as it was. Your graduation can pose as a reminder of the people who helped you get there, rather than the end of your time with them.

3.) It is okay not to have a job lined up.

You have time, and you have resources at your disposal. The stress can get to be a lot, but there are so many options for your future that this one decision isn’t going to make or break anything. At the end of the day, making ends meet while you search for your dream job is okay, and so is giving yourself a few weeks after graduation if you have that option. You are not required to find your lifelong career within the 2 months leading to graduation; you have your entire life to do that. It is okay to take your time to find a job that is truly yours.

4.) Your life isn’t over just because college is.

You’ve spent 20 years in school, and now you’re looking toward a time where that may not be a thing anymore. That doesn’t mean you peaked, or that your fun has to end. You can do anything you want outside of college, even more now that you’re of age. Think of how many places you could go, how many people you could meet now that you aren’t confined to your graduating class. Go rent a car and see the world. You deserve it.

5.) If you really miss it, you can always go back.

College is never an end, really. A professor of mine likes to say “the truly knowledgeable seek out knowledge at every turn,” and that is an option too. If a doctorate or even a master’s degree is too much, you can always go for certificate programs that let you dabble in a topic for a few semesters. Or you can even take individual classes if you would really like. It won’t be exactly the same as undergrad, but then again, it’ll be pretty close. You’ll still meet people and do things you may never have expected. It is still an opportunity to do college again.

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5 Ways to “Get Yourself Out There”


Have you ever been in a rut in life, and someone tells you to just “get yourself out there?” What does that even mean? As we’re still grappling with the pandemic, many of us continue to feel isolated and scared to start new things or go to new places. But, spring is here and it’s time to “get yourself out there”. Not sure how? Here are a few options:

  1. Join a new club on campus

As a college student, the easiest way to meet new people or try a new experience is to join a club! I know the semester is already halfway over, but it’s never too late to join a group on campus, or at the very least start researching clubs to join in the fall. Check out USG’s Student Organization List to see what opportunities are available on campus!

  1. Volunteer in your community

Another great way to participate in society that doesn’t require a lot of commitment is to volunteer! This could give you a chance to meet new people of different backgrounds, flex a passion or skill, and give back to your community. Depending on the organization, you’ll likely have a choice of volunteering regularly or just for special events. If you already know of an organization near you that recruits volunteers, try reaching out and seeing if they need extra help, or just search a website like VolunteerMatch to see who might need your help.

  1. Audition for a choir, play, or musical

Feel like you need to get our of your shell? Performance can be a great way to open up and express yourself, whether through, singing, acting, dancing, or playing a musical instrument. If you’re not sure where to find auditions, Facebook is a great place to start, or simply search performance groups near you and see what comes up!

  1. Join a hobby class

I know we’re all in school already, so maybe taking a new class is the last thing on your list. But if you want to pick up a new hobby and make some friends with the same hobby, a class might be just the thing! You could learn how to cook, knit, play guitar, salsa dance – the possibilities are endless! If you’re the kind of person that loves to be “productive” in your free time, this would be perfect for you.

  1. Attend a concert, festival, or convention

I recognize that this might still be out of people’s comfort zone when it comes to safety, but as the weather gets warmer there will be tons of outdoor concerts and other events all around the Baltimore-DC area. You could go see the Orioles play at Camden Yards, or catch the tail end of the Cherry Blossom Festival in Washington, DC. Once again Facebook is a great place to find events like these, or your old pal Google can also help out.

So what the heck does it mean to get yourself out there? To me, it just means pushing through discomfort to try new things. How will you get yourself out there this spring?

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Studying while Listening to Music

Source: LoFi Girl

I never understood why people would listen to music while studying, especially when it’s a genre they are fond of. I get distracted way too easily and start signing along instead of taking notes and reviewing my lecture slides. Fun fact, I am a drummer, so if I hear a great beat I will concentrate on how it was created, next thing I know I’ve spent most of my study time just ‘jamming out.’ Maybe, many of you have felt the same and have resorted to studying in silence, even though studying in silence might also get you distracted if there is a sudden sound. Reaching focus is one of the most difficult parts of studying.

So what’s the solution?

Well, If you like to listen to your favorite genre of music and you work well, then keep doing you and succeed. But, if you’re like me, then some music that you may find useful for focusing, or at least relaxing, is a genre called LoFi.

When I was in high school I discovered LoFi and I soon began listening to some excellent nondistracting and peaceful tunes, and I still do to this day.

I listen to a youtube stream called lofi hip hop radio – beats to relax/study toby the creator, LoFi Girl

These are peaceful tracks with ‘background music’ type beats. I find it great to block out noise at busy coffee shops or annoying siblings at home. If you have heard of it, I hope you have tried, or are thinking of trying, it to study. 

When I tune in to the stream, which is 24/7 by the way, I find myself spending an adequate amount of time focused and getting my work done. I’ve written some great papers and lab reports to LoFi Girl. It’s also nice to listen to when I clean my room or just layin in bed chilling. All I do is turn on the stream and my mind is conditioned to either studying or tuning out the outside world in any situation.

So go and check out the LoFi girl or the LoFi genre to study or relax, you might be amazed by the great beats and its ability to help you focus, according to me, a very reliable source:)

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Midway Motivation

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Spring To Do List: Garden Galivanting

Sherwood Gardens – From Sherwood Gardens

As the air begins to warm, and the last chills of snow drift away on the breeze, life begins to take hold of the little areas we find relax and respite in. It is time to wander the gardens again, picking flowers and breathing in the fresh air of new dew on the meadows. It has been so long since we have all made our way from our houses though that it is a struggle to remember where one might find the best views, the brightest flowers, and the happiest spring days. I made a list of my go to garden spots to celebrate this spring, and I thought I would share them! Here is a short go to guide for where to best see the flowers bloom:

Sherwood Gardens – From Sherwood Gardens

Sherwood Gardens Tulip Display and Tulip Dig

Sherwood Gardens will always hold a special spot in my heart, as it is where I spent nearly every finals week of my undergraduate degree. Sherwood is a lovely little space nestled into a neighborhood of homes in northern Baltimore, and every spring the gardeners go to work planting thousands of tulips for us to enjoy. Free to the public, this sleepy little garden is one of the best places to picnic and enjoy the flowers (and one of the best places to dog watch too). They recommend a trip in late April to early May to see the tulips in full bloom, of which there are 27 varieties to enjoy this year.

Take note though that the tulips at Sherwood Gardens do not last all that long, as on May 28th the annual Tulip dig will commence. For 30 cents a bulb, you can dig out your favorite tulips and take them home. All proceeds go toward the garden itself, so be rest assured your money will be helping more tulips grow for years to come. A wonderful was to save the beauty of spring for yourself!

You can find out more here!

Ladew Gardens – From Ladew Gardens

Ladew Gardens’ Garden Festival

Have you ever wanted to wander through the world of Alice in Wonderland? Ladew Gardens, filled with blushing hedge swans and bright red rose trees offers a chance to feel the wild wonder of Wonderland without leaving the state. Open Thursdays through Tuesdays till just before sunset, Ladew gardens is a sprawling 22 acres topiary haven. It is a perfect place to spend an afternoon wandering, as every little hole offers something new and there are a million secret paths to explore. Entry is $15 for adults, though a student ID will knock $5 off that price.

If you’re looking to add a little bit more festivity to your spring adventures, the Laden Garden Festival is on May 7th this year. While exploring the topiaries and gardens of Ladew, this festival also allows you to get a little bit if shopping on so you can create some beautiful gardens of your own. Tickets start at $75 for the whole day of festivities and allow you access to over 30 unique vendors who want to help you make the garden of your dreams. Even better, all proceeds go towards helping Ladew host educational events for children all year long!

You can find out more here!

Soleado Lavender Farm – From Soleado Lavender Farm

Soleado Lavender Farm

Stepping outside your car, instantly the smell of soft lavender fills you with a sense of relaxation and ease. With the many lavender farms around Maryland, its a surprise that the smell of lavender doesn’t take over the whole state. Soleado Lavender Farm is only 20 minutes from the Shady Grove campus, and has 30 acres full of beautiful lavender plants and 1960s architecture to explore. While the farm itself doesn’t open till May 27th, once open, the farm boasts pick-your-own-lavender sessions as well as tours, crafts, festivals, and recipes. If you want to live out your Jane Austin dreams of frolicking in a field of lavender or reading by a small pond, this is the place to do it.

You can find out more here!

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The Musical Soundtrack You Should Listen To Based on Your Favorite Artist/Genre

Listen, musical theatre gets a bad rap – and honestly, it can be deserved. A lot of what is considered “classic” musical theatre is pretty outdated and unrelatable. But it’s 2022 and theatre isn’t dead! The genre of musical theatre has expanded to match the taste of today’s audiences, and every other music genre has made its way to stage at least once. Curious which musical soundtrack best matches your taste? Check out these recommendations below – and I promise, no jukebox musicals or overdone shows like Hamilton or Wicked.

If you like: Powerful Girl Pop (Olivia Rodrigo, Ariana Grande, Dua Lipa)

Try: Six

Six is also a great pic if you love remixed historical content like Hamilton or Bridgerton. This high-energy pop musical brings together the six wives of England’s King Henry VIII, and imagines a world where they not only were all alive at the same time, but decided to form a band together! A little silly? Yes. But if you love powerful female voices and women supporting women, this is a short, fun soundtrack to get into.

If you like: Folk/Bluegrass (Hozier, Ray Lamontagne, Dodie)

Try: Hadestown

Another show that puts a classic spin on an old story, Hadestown provides folksy retelling of the Greek myth of Orpheus and Persephone. The story follows the burgeoning love of a young musician and a hungry young girl, as well as the fading love of two old gods. The music originated from a concept album by folk artist Anaïs Mitchell, and has grown into a widely-renowned musical. Winner of the 2019 Tony Award for Best Musical, this is definitely one of my favorite shows of the last few years.

If you like: Indie-Pop (Taylor Swift, Sara Bareilles, Ed Sheeran)

Try: Waitress

Did you know Sara Bareilles wrote a musical?? The singer-songwriter known for hits like “Love Song” and “Brave” took her composing skills to Broadway and wrote the music for this show, based on the film of the same title. An upbeat score, a cast of loveable characters, and an unlikely love story makes this tony-nominated musical a really fun listening experience.

If you like: Rock/Alternative (Greta Van Fleet, Green Day, WILLOW)


Okay, this one is older than my other suggestions, but it is a true classic and still has extremely relevant themes. With the same composer as “tick, tick… BOOM!”, this heartfelt story about everyday people trying to find love and still afford to pay rent (relatable content) during the height of the AIDs pandemic. The soundtrack is very reminiscent of 90s grunge rock, and unlike the other musicals on this list, there is a fantastic movie adaptation with the majority of the original Broadway cast!

See, there’s something for everyone! It’s never a bad time to expand your musical horizons – happy listening!

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Failed Internship Applications

The amount of internships I have applied for and either been ignored or rejected is comical. I have felt like I am not worthy of those internships and that there is always someone better. Well though there may be someone who can be more qualified, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t strive to make changes to get you accepted. You are worthy, and all you may need is assistance as I did.

An internship is an excellent opportunity to make connections and boost your resume, but if you have been rejected, don’t let it get to you. Just keep applying and soon you’ll find yourself in an even better position.

As a pre-med student, a clinical opportunity is critical and I have lost track of my failed applications.

But what have I done to make myself a better applicant?

  1. The first step is to never give up!
    • Though it’s obvious, it’s also easy to forget that there are so many other opportunities out there waiting for you, keep your head up and keep looking!
  2. If the application asks for a cover letter make sure it is strong and expresses your passions
    • I’ve realized how important it is to have an updated cover letter. While comparing my past cover letter with my current one, it is clearer why my application was simply brushed over.
    • If you need assistance we have a great resource at USG at the Career and Internship Services Center, where they offer cover letters and other career support!
  3. Prepare appropriately for any interviews
    • An interview may sound easy, but with the questions they may ask, it is easy to get tripped up, nervous, or seem unprepared which, is a great way to get disqualified though you made it that far.
    • The Career and Internship Services Center also offers mock interviews and techniques to help as well.
  4. Confidence
    • The places you apply love to hear from confident individuals and I learned (the hard way) that being as confident and calm as you can be, no matter how nervous you are, can take you farther than the rest.
    • If you earn an interview always be confident and prepare with possible interview questions.

(I asked for help through ACES and if you are an ACES student don’t forget we have our coaches!! If you are not an ACES student there are still so many resources at USG!)

So don’t be afraid to ask for help and figure out what your weaknesses are, because chances are, you are an excellent student who just needs the proper guidance and support to properly express your passions through your applications and interviews. 

I finally have what ill do during my gap year with the best internships someone could ask for, so what are you waiting for, and get on that path too!

Source: Cageideas
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